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The Adventures of the Doherâts

Time warp anyone?

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Sassiest, most superpowered family everrr!!

Time warp anyone?

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Ehhh.. i am going to blame exam hysteria for this :D

For my darling angels Bella and Hannah, who are BLATES THE NEXT BIG TINGS
AND WILL ROOL THE WORLD WITH MELODY AND LOVE

and everyone else who is here - i love you all :D







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SOMEWHERE IN THE LONDON SUBURBS, 1956

Young Peter Doherty, 18, and his beautiful French girlfriend Carla, 17, were out for the night at the drive-in for a night of sci-fi entertainment, followed by dancing at the coolest diner in town.
(Carla hoped.)

Snuggled into Peter as the stars sparkled in the sky as if lit just for them, Carla thought that - even though Attack of the Killer Alien Wolfmen from Not-Arcadia XVVVV was utter shite - she had to be the luckiest girl in the world.

Then Peter turned to her with an apprehensive look on his pale, poetic face.

PETER: Honey.. *blushes*

CARLA: Yes Peter? *looks hopefully*

PETER: *runs hand through hair manfully* Um.

CARLA: Yes? *flutters eyelashes*

PETER: Carla, I.. I have something to ask you..

Carla leaned in towards him expectantly, her big blue eyes innocent and curious. Peter smiled nervously and stroked back a lock of her soft dark hair.

Then! Suddenly! There was a rattle at the door of Peter's father's car!

The young lovers were startled and wondered who it could possibly be.


CARLA: How startling!

PETER: Who could that possibly be?







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He rolled down his window to reveal.... Kate Moss, the school whore!



Who had the eye for intellectual, mischievous Peter who was something of a heart-throb, and a hatred of the exotically beautiful young ting that was Carla Ashley Raphaella Barât

She batted her eyelashes ineffectually and pursed her collagen-enhanced lips.

"Mind if I... get on you, Peter? I mean, in you? I mean... in your car? Ta, luv."

And before either of them had any idea what was going on, she had pulled poor Carla from her seat and thrown her unceremoniously out of the car into the grass.

"Carla!" gasped Peter to his girlfriend who lay somewhat dazed on the ground.

"Oh, whatever," laughed Kate. "Like you even love her. You shagged me before she ever came here, remember? And you gave me your class ring!"

There was a stunned silence. Crickets were audible. Everyone else in the parking lot untangled themselves from various illicit positions and stared with bated breath.

"She - she's making it up, Peter. She is, isn't she?" stammed Carla, uncertainly.

Peter bit his lip anxiously.

"Carla, baby, listen.. it was a very, very long time ago..."
"In this car," considered Kate, inspecting her fingernails.
"...and it meant nothing," Peter continued desperately.
"He said I was the best he'd ever had," added Kate.

Carla gulped back her stunned, devastated tears and stumbled to her feet.

"It's - it's over, Peter," she whispered.

"Buh-bye sweetheart," waved Kate, smirking. "Look, maybe you'll get some in France. With an onion man. And have babies in striped jumpers hmmm? AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" she snorted.

(As was her wont.)


"Carla!" Peter cried, flinging open his door and hurrying to stop Carla from leaving, his soulful brown eyes filling with tears. "I love you! I never wanted to - "

"Save it," she said dramatically, spinning on her heel and storming off into the night.
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